VARAZDIN, CROATIA

by Dan Winters (posted by his more techy savvy daughter)

 

         "I have PMS and a GPS. That means that I am pissed off and I can find you." - Anonymous.

Inspired in Varazdin

Our travel agent recommended that on the drive to Lake Bled, we stop along the way to break up the trip. The choices were (I am not making this up) Krapina—an archeological site where the first humans were found, Kumrovec—Tito's birth place, and Varazdin—listed by the New York Times as one of the "52 places to visit in 2014" and was number 48 sandwiched between Siem Reap, Cambodia and St. Petersburg, Florida (huh?).  It is not clear what the criteria was—Albania and L.A.* were also on the list. It was an easy choice. Carol doesn't do Neanderthals or dictators. Varazdin is a beautifully preserved mini-city with classy  historic public buildings and huge open squares all built by the various tyrants that took turns subjugating the Varazdiners for 800 years—mostly it was Hapsburg bullies, grumpy Ottomans and thug Hungarians. It’s so permanently occupied, that the sports teams go by the name, the "Varazdin Vassals." You can look it up. It is a gentle place, all in soft tans, pinks and yellows. The castle looks like an abbey, the cathedral like a bank, and the palace like a Der Weinerschnitzel.  It inspired us—we ordered burgers, fries and chocolate milk shakes for lunch.

We drive three hours though the rain and the lush countryside to Slovenia and Lake Bled. Carol is mostly the driver, of course, but I have been replaced as the navigator by the GPS. The lady whose GPS voice orders us around is kind of pissy. We think we might have hit the dominatrix button by mistake. She gets pretty snarky if you make the wrong turn. She rankles Carol. I sense a showdown coming on. To me, her voice has that "you are wrangling for a spanking Sir!" quality." That is not necessarily a bad thing.

BTW, crossing the border from Croatia to Slovenia is like going from Illinois to Iowa—"MWP" (more white people). There are no blacks, asians or latinos so far–very disturbing. There are not even any Japanese teens taking selfies. We miss them.

 * The author’s more tech savvy daughter does not endorse this statement about LA ;)


Still kinda pissed about the GPS lady